The Love Languages and Friendship

Martha Zeeman
2 min readJan 13, 2023

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The 5 love language are: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time and physical touch. Love languages apply to all relationships not just romantic ones. At the end of the day, we show our love the same way and we want love shown to us the same way. Knowing your own love language is as important as knowing the love language of those you love.

I was recently the benefactor of my dear friends love language which is cooking but really an act of service. She used her love language to show her love and honored my love language by spending quality time with me. It got me thinking about friendships and how we show our love to our friends. I stumbled upon this analogy:

Words of Affirmation: “These tacos are so good.”
Quality Time: “Let’s go eat some tacos together.”
Gifts: “I brought you a taco.”
Acts of Service: “I made you some tacos.”
Physical Touch: “Let me hug you like a taco.”

To be clear, I’d eat anything Wendy made but my meal was way better than tacos!!! Wendy made the most beautiful birthday breakfast and we spent a glorious ninety minutes together in her cozy kitchen. We were not dressed in fancy clothes but we did have beautiful plates and napkins — in orange and green of course because Wendy knows my favorite colors. The food was made from freshest ingredients and the happy sound of Kenny Chesney was playing in the background. When you get your friends and your friends get you, it’s a glorious thing.

I wrote recently about friendship and how it is better to be interested than to be interesting and I will add that if you’re interested you know the love language of your friends. While I strongly encourage exploring the love languages with your life partner, I highly recommend doing the same with your friends. It is a gift to yourself and those you love.

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