Every Day Offers A Ticket To Ride
The hits keep coming… Dance recital cancelled for the senior girl who had a solo, entire quarter will be on-line as pass/fail for the chemical engineering major whose jam is chemical engineering, wedding of dear friend moved to next June… but the happy moments keep coming too…. Homemade treats dropped at the door by two neighbors, a bible study group energized to become good neighbors as God commanded, and Brad Paisley texting me. Full disclosure- Brad is my man, and I’m pretty sure he texted everyone who is a loyal fan but anything Brad is a joy for me.
Yesterday I took a long walk and went through the cemetery. I usually say hi to my buddy Alison. I also visit my favorite spots like the beautiful angel on the Wacker’s grave site and another weeping angel on the other end of the cemetery. Some people do not like cemeteries, but I find them incredibly peaceful and inspiring. If you read the headstones you realize that some people died tragically young and some perhaps in battle, yet they were loved as sons and fathers and mothers. There are so many headstones that simply say FATHER, MOTHER, SON, DAUGHTER. You see how families combined over generations and how so many people were so uniquely loved by their family. You also know that despite all the death that surrounds you, the world moves on. It doesn’t move on despite what happened, but because it just does.
For the first time, I noticed that there are some old headstones that are very close to the ravine. I suspect that the ravine was not so close when the headstone was originally placed, but that time has eroded the soil and the coastline. Initially that concerned me but then I realized that these souls were now closer to the water and the peaceful sound of the water hitting the shoreline. I sat and listened to the water for some time and felt more at peace than I have in days.
As I continued through the cemetery and read more of the headstones, all of which I have walked by before, I noticed the dates of birth and death. I was struck by the fact that many died during war time, many lived short lives and many lived very long lives which I’m going to assume were happy for the purposes of my story. I took a seat at a bench and thought about what the world is going through right now. Right then and there I decided that being positive is the only way forward and the only way to support each other through this. Please don’t mistake this for me dismissing the pain and suffering of many people, because there is so much suffering and so much diversity in the types of suffering — but all of it is suffering. I believe that the pain suffered by the people who lose loved ones from this pandemic is on par with the pain suffered by the kids who lose the experiences that can never be replicated. I know that will draw ire from many, but I believe the emotional pain of seniors in college and high school who will not experience the joys they were expecting are truly emotionally significant. By no means do I equate the death of a loved one to the loss of “experiencing” high school graduation, but I think we all need to understand that the emotional loss of significant life events is real and it can not be replaced.
Back to the cemetery…. here’s the thing I felt when I left there yesterday.. I actually felt lifted. I’ve experienced the loss of two grandparents, both parents , a mother-in-law and several friends. The pain of loss is brutal and so tangible initially, but over time the physical component of the pain lessens. It never goes away, but you realize that living in that pain doesn’t serve you or the memory of the one you lost. Walking through that cemetery and reading the headstones, I thought about the pain the families went through at the time their loved one died. I also thought about the fact that many of the names on those headstones represent families that still live in and contribute to the community that I am a part of today. Every generation experiences tragedy and pain and also continues.
This pandemic is real. The pain, fear and loss we are all feeling is real. However, we will survive and many will live to tell what was learned from this time. Discoveries will be made. Customs and habits will be changed, perhaps for the better. Most importantly, we will survive and perhaps be kinder for it.
As I’ve said in my last few stories, you gotta find the happy. So here are my happy things for the last two days:
Two long walks with dogs and hubby
I found a company that will make a spray paint version of my Carolina blue paint on my front door so I painted four chairs Caroline Blue today
Cards — sent and received… so much joy!
Family dinner may have paper plates and paper napkins but it is 5 people and there are lots of laughs
Dogs are SOOOO tired from all the exercise
My bible study group is viewing this pandemic as an OPPORTUNITY to be great neighbors.
So… there is the happy.
